Since the rain won't stop

does it mean thinking of you is not a sin and it's ok to?

To the rain I'd never really listened

So last night was something new

Felt like it came through the roof and kissed me

Then that song came to mind as I fell asleep

"I wanna go outside in the..."

When I woke up this morning I had a smile on my face

Cause I looked out the window and saw that it was still raining

________________________

It meant something when I wrote it back then...lol. I don't know if so much now. Not that it even rhymes or anything lol

* Friday we left at 7 am and made it to Hampton around 10 am. I met my best friends family (her father's side) for the first time. Wow, she looks just like them. It's crazy. I like seeing people's families I always am looking to see what features are identical. I like looking at old family pictures and hearing family stories. I don't know why it's so fascinating to me.

* Her dad....hilarious. He is one of the three youngest old people I know. He can get down with the best of them. He took us too this Cafe that had a live band playing and when I say that he out danced us....he out danced us. We were good and tired, ready to head back to the hotel, and homeboy was still inside getting down. We just chilled outside on the patio and in the truck talking until he was ready to roll. On the ride back to the hotel I was knodding off in the back seat, he says, " I know you ain't sleep! Your the birthday girl!"

*My birthday: I wake up to have a not so pleasant convo with Mr. Philly. I was so pissed. And my friend was like "hang up the phone, hang up the phone!" because the convo wasn't going anywhere. Just making me even more irritated with this nigga. Sometimes I will want to talk to him and just have a chill convo but 5/10 minutes into the convo I'm thinking to myself...."why did I pick up the phone?" To sum things up with him, I just feel that there are too many things about him that he would have to change in order for me to want to be with him like that. And even still I don't know that I would be happy with him because it would just be counterfiet. (Does that mean I'm a picky person? idk ) And at the end of the day, that's not fair to ask someone to become someone their not. Who would want to be with someone like that? I tell you that he would. And maybe that's what turns me off. (But should u want someone who is willing to compromise for you. This is where I struggle within myself...am I a mean or good person for thinking like that? Where is the line between wanting compromise and trying to completely wanting someone to change 180?)

*Ps. I love how geniuely concerned my friends are with my happiness. And I  know that it's because they saw me go through so much stuff emotionally with these two other guys. They're ready to see me truly happy with someone. (not to mentioned that  in a four person poll I was voted the first to be married in each poll) lol. 

*Birthday Part Two: Well thankfully my birthday did end up getting better. After some other minor frustrations, we finally made it down to the beach with my dad, sibilings, stepmom, her sister and her family. It was a great day to be at the beach. The wather was nice, the waves were great and my brother taught me how to use the boogie board! I loved seeing my sisters and brother. The girls are taller than me and their in 7th and 8th grade. And my brother adores me. He's going into 6th grade. He loves hanging out with his big sister and it makes me feel so good inside that he loves spending time with me. He almost cried when it was time for me to leave. But he hardly ever does cry because he's a big boy. In my eyes he's still a lil baby. I remember holding him at night when he would still wet the bed and cried because he was afraid of my daddy finding out. So in the middle of the night I would get up change his sheets and get him new clothes, give him a big long hug and say " it's ok johnny. I won't tell daddy. you'll grow out of it". 

So after we get back from the beach my dad puts som ribs on the grill and we end up having a surf and turf dinner menu. My dad also made some pound cake using a recipe my Aunt gave him. MY LAWD!!! It was all so good. (I love my dad, he can do just about anything). 

Well I'm going to pause for now. this blog has gotten long enough and there is more than enough things to comment about lol